Some recent tweets from my Twitter timeline@GlennyRodge:
[Lion & horse in restaurant]
Lion: 2 prawn cocktails to start.
Waiter: And for your mains?
Lion: He'll have a brush & I just need a comb.@Jeffwni:
Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom
Me: I'll take care of itraises spider like one of my ownhas a little cry when it graduates@GlennyRodge
In a dispute with my neighbour, I dumped a wash basin on his front lawn. If he thinks I'm apologising, he's got another sink coming.@Michael1979:
Me: Bob, it's pronounced CHANGING, not a-changin'.
Bob Dylan: ?
Me: Can someone teach Bob to say CHANGE?David Bowie stands up
Me: Not you