Some tweets from my Twitter timeline
@craiguito“You’re early”
- me meeting an earl
@cluedontCashier: '£1.49 please.'
Me:
hands over £20Cashier: 'Have you got anything smaller?'
Me:
hands over matchbox containing tiny beetle@ItsAndyRyanMe: I need an anagram of 'maths cookout'
Her: That's too much to ask
Me: Brilliant, you're a genius
@JimmyFer1077650I took two stuffed dogs on to the antiques roadshow.
'Oooh' said the presenter 'have you any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?'
'Sticks' i said.
@joemuggsMan loses his dog, so he puts an ad in the paper: “here boy!”
#
humour #
humor #
Twitter